Tag Archives: Friendships

To Click Or Not To Click

With Other People

I know for me developing those social relationships started when I was 4 or 5 years old! Then I moved into “clicks” around 5th grade. Talk about life altering moments of embarrassment and rejection amongst your peers! It continued into my high school years with the added twist of “girl drama” and of course starting to like boys in a whole different way.

I learned some valuable lessons about rejection in my 20’s with friendships and relationships! There were times I took rejection like the ultimate sucker punch, especially when a friendship went sour or had a bad breakup. I seriously thought something was wrong with me because I could not handle rejection, confrontation or conflict well at all! It made me physically sick and I really did not like the person that I would become in those situations.

Then I had that “Aha Moment” where it just clicked one day for me! I needed to start loving myself and taking care of my needs. I will either like someone or not as well as someone will like me or not. I cannot please everyone and that goes with trying to be everyone’s friend too!


Finding Buried Treasures

Somewhere in my early 30’s I stopped trying to click with anyone and everyone! I am comfortable with who I am and I am proud to have made it to that stage in my life. You either like me or not and that is okay! I will just continue on to the next interaction to see if there is a click or even a connection.

The one area I still struggle with is letting someone down, especially if I am not aware that I let someone down! I think the part I struggle with is in not talking about it and not dealing with it until months down the road. How can you possibly protect or defend yourself in these situations? I think this is a case of just being the bigger person, apologizing and agreeing to disagree and moving on!


Thinking About the Silly and the Funny

I have had moments where I have become so frustrated that I felt myself withdrawing and my mouth just shutting like a trap! I was afraid to open my mouth and speak. I felt the stupid, the miscommunicated and the misconstrued just ready to leak out! Then to add insult to injury let me throw in some social awkwardness too.

I had to stop beating myself up and worrying about every little thing I did say! I will let people down and disappoint them too. It will either make sense or not. It will be either fair or not. I just have to roll with it for the most part!

I love myself and I am loved! I have my protectors, my supporters and my cheerleaders helping me and guiding me along. I love hanging with the people that just get me and want to be with me! I will continue to keep on keeping on.


Going With The Flow (Photos by RSheridan)

Can We Be Friends . . . Yes! . . . With Myself and Anyone Else Who Wants to Join the Adventure!!!


I Am So Happy

For You

I was talking to a friend recently about being jealous rather than being happy instead for another person, especially a good friend!

When and where do we learn this bad habit of bursting someone else’s bubble to make ourselves feel better?


BIG & Hairy!

Here Is What I Do Know Though

  • I know for certain I have enough stress and enough drama in my life without creating more of it.
  • I know for certain I was taught to express myself, including my emotional self. I am learning to reign my emotional self in now as an adult!
  • I know for me it comes from wanting something similar to happen in my own life.
  • I know sometimes it triggers the competitive person that lives inside of me.

Why can we not be happy for that person and avoid having the green monster rear its ugly head? It is just envy and jealousy overriding happiness. It is hard to find the happiness when all you want to see is GREEN!

Do NOT break that person down and take away their happiness and SHINE!


Shining . . . Smiling . . . Seeking

Changing Perspective

Why not make their happiness as important as my own happiness! I feel in being happy for myself as well as others that I am more open to the opportunities in my own life. I know it is not easy, but it is DOABLE! I feel it is to my benefit to use my energies for the good and the positive in living my life. It certainly helps in living with a healthier and happier mind and heart!

Why not live vicariously through others at times? I want to be able to do that as well as see the good and positive of myself through others. Why not, right! Does that not give myself delight and pleasure as well as happiness and joy. I can give it and share it with other people too.

I would rather have a partner and/or pals to adventure through life with instead of alienating those around me and being lonely! I know I need to take care of myself and my needs and my interests. However, I know living my life is much bigger than just me, myself and I too. I choose to not live my life in a bubble!


Seeing Bark or a Rainbow of Color?

Value Added

First and Foremost I need to STOP Discounting Myself! I think it really comes down to being aware of how I value myself!

I need to STOP the . . .

  • The Negativity
  • The Judging and The Perceiving
  • The Comparing and The Competing

I find it hard to be open and accepting of others when I feed into that! I need to connect with my self worth and who I am, especially from within myself. I need to put the ego and the attitude aside and deal with any deficiencies I feel about myself first before putting them on to someone else. I need to be more self aware and think before taking action, especially when it comes to emotions, feelings and thoughts!

I am just trying to live my life as I journey along! I choose the way I want to live my life as do most people. I really want to seek out and soak up the world around me!


Bright . . . Bold . . . Beautiful (Photos by RSheridan)

Love To Hear Your Thoughts, Please Share!


A Little Green

Jealousy vs. Envy

I recently read a book about friendships and there was one topic that kept sticking out to me! The topic of jealousy and envy among the different friends and the role it played in their friendships. I starting thinking about that movie Single White Female and the very unhealthy roommate/friendship between the two main female characters in that movie!

Jealousy can be an impluse or instance of feeling jealous or being jealous or behaving jealous.

It’s not easy being green. ~Kermit the Frog

Envy is wanting what somebody else has or to desire something that somebody else has. Envy results in feelings of resentment or unhappiness.

No matter how large the swamp; be your own frog. ~Kermit the Frog

I like to think of it as being competitive between friends, but could there be a bit of jealousy or even envy with that competition! Yes, there could be. I think it comes down to how you handle and deal with the situation as well as your emotions, feelings and thoughts. There is a fine line between being supportive and being a little green when it comes to the balance of friendships!

I know I become a little green when I start in on the negative self talk, the self doubts and the questioning of my abilities, skills and talents! I reflect my insecurities and my fears on to my friends and that affects the friendships too. Why am I competing with my friends and comparing myself to my friends? I need to work on building healthier friendships instead of breaking those friendships down!

I want to see my friends have good things happen to them in their lives! I just need to keep my mouth shut and my ears open to listen more. I want to share in the happiness, celebrate in the successes and give best wishes. I really need to set my own needs aside and just be there when needed!

I have to realize that each and every one of us is on a different path in living our lives! This realization helps me to not turn it into a competition or about comparison. It is more about being mindful and being grateful for what I already do have and what I want in my life. I want to share in what my friends want in their lives more than anything else!

I love when I can learn new things from my friends and continue to grow as a person! I enjoy the collaboration and the interaction when I can put my strengths together with another person’s abilities, skills and talents. Sometimes I am suprised how well we complement each other. It is such a supportive, healthier and happier friendship!


(Photos by RSheridan)

Here’s to Being AWESOME and AMAZING and WAY LESS GREEN Too!!!


Developing Character

What I Learned From Alice

Do you have a book character that you relate to or at least have learned from?

I read Alice in Wonderland as a little girl and it is still a favorite of mine! Nothing better than a tale of a girl who falls down a rabbit hole into a wonderland with interesting characters and creatures!

My Favorite Chapters

  • Chapter 1 – Down the Rabbit Hole. Is falling down the rabbit hole an adventure or not so much? A clothed White Rabbit with a pocket watch?!?
  • Chapter 5 – Advice from a Caterpillar. A Blue Caterpillar sitting on a mushroom and smoking a hookah – who would have thought?!?
  • The Queen of Hearts. “Off With Your Head!”
  • Chapter 6 – Pig and Pepper. Introduction of the Cheshire Cat. “He disappears but his grin remains behind to float on its own in the air prompting Alice to remark that she has often seen a cat without a grin but never a grin without a cat.”
  • Chapter 7 – A Mad Tea Party. Who does not love a party, right? “The Hatter reveals that they have tea all day because Time has punished him by eternally standing still at 6 pm (tea time).” Imagine if time was stuck at 6 pm!
  • Chapter 11 – Who Stole the Tarts? Nothing better than a sneaked sweet treat!
  • “Wonderland” is truly a great place to nap and dream the afternoon away!

Lesson #1 – Travel, Explore, Adventure

As little girls, Alice and I both had a sense of curiosity! I just connected with Alice in so many ways. I loved to explore and have an adventure too! The natural beauty of the Great Outdoors speaks to me on so many levels too. I thought my dolls, my stuffed animals and my pets made for a pretty good cast of characters, like in the book!

Lesson #2 – Dreaming and Imagining

I will never stop dreaming! Books open and expand my world. Books are a great escape from reality into fantasy. I loved playing dress-up and make-believe growing up. I love letting my imagination GO WILD!

Lesson #3 – Life is not a bed of roses and you may encounter a Queen of Hearts.

I will feel bored and lonely. I will feel rejected and isolated by myself and others. The “true key” to unlocking those doors is listening to myself and not others in order to make good choices and live the good life! The “true eat or drink” to growing as a person is to accept myself. In being thankful and grateful for what I do have it gives me happiness, joy and pleasure.

Lesson #4 – Friendships

The BEST thing is that there is an Alice inside of me! I am sure others can relate to that too. It is what is in the inside that counts! Friendships and those connections matter, especially when you discover a true BFF, a sister or a kindred spirit. Even when you relate to a character in a book and learn from that character it is a MAGICAL experience!

Lesson #5 – Celebrate

Life is way too short to NOT Celebrate it! I enjoy a good party with dancing, eats, drinks, and sweets. I love figuring out the different roles people play at parties (i.e. life of the party, wallflower, dancer, etc.). Let’s have a little more FUN in life too!


(Photos by RSheridan)

Imagine if time was STUCK at 6 pm! No thank you. I enjoy stretching my comfort zone and trying new things. Time is too PRECIOUS to waste!

Please Share What Character(s) You Relate To or Learn From! Love to Hear!!!


Friendships

Supporting One Another

“Make new friends but keep the old,

one is silver and the other gold.” ~Girl Scout song

Do you feel like your friendships have evolved throughout the years (teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, etc.)? I know I have experienced this in my life. Some friendships have endured the test of time while others have not. Some friendships have come back around while others go around and around again.

At this stage in my life I click with people, but miss the connection in forming a friendship at times. I have a small circle of friends and tend to live in my little life and do little to expand it. Sometimes I do not give myself the time to click let alone start a connection with another person. I want to invest in a friendship that offers camaraderie, mutual interests and that is healthy for both of us! It is no longer about being part of the popular group and hanging in the right circles. At least for me!

2 is Sometimes Better Than 1!

Friendships need to have a balance between giving and receiving. Friendships are supporting and cheering one another on as well as inspiring and motivating too. Friendships help give you a sense of direction in order to become a better version of your self. Friendships help you experience growth and gain life experiences!

Thanks to My Friends – Love You and Appreciate Your Support!!!


Hanging Out Together (Photo by RSheridan)


Crying Foul

Gaining a New Perspective

I know most of you have had the experience of being in a great mood while your greatest someone(s) were experiencing a foul mood. You want to escape and enjoy being in a great mood, especially when you have something fun and exciting planned for the day. You want to enjoy spending time together to connect with your greatest someones! Then there is that disconnection when the foul mood turns into venting and ranting. You struggle with being in a good mood while dealing with the frustration and aggravation of the situation you have found yourself in. Especially when after 5 minutes or so the venting and ranting continues.

Not Taking It To Heart

You want to enjoy being in the moment and not really stuck listening to the venting and ranting. You start thinking what a waste of my time and energy. How do I find myself in this position in these types of situations? You start thinking should I just listen or should I interject and share my perspective to lighten the mood and calm the person down.

Do you find yourself splitting your attention between being in the moment and listening? I know I do at times. I know I have been on the giving as well as receiving end too.

Do you find yourself feeling like the situation is directed at you and you take it personally? At times. Do you find yourself feeling like you are being taken advantage of in certain situations? I know I have at times.

I have found myself becoming an active participant and letting my emotions take control over me. Not good at all! There may be situations where you will find yourself stepping back and setting boundaries.

Following Your Heart & Listening to Your Needs

So I try to turn my focus inward and project my appreciation and gratitude to that interaction and connection by listening and being there as well as giving and receiving! An expression of love and respect for each other.  In loving and having compassion for yourself you are able to be more open and available to your needs and other people’s needs. I am amazed at the interactions as well as surprised at the motivating and inspiring conversations when you have a true sense of yourself!


(Photos by RSheridan)

How Do You Accept and Embrace Your Interactions, Connections and Conversations with Your Greatest Someones for the BETTER? Love to Hear, Please Share!


Cracked

Love this Quote!

A True Friend is Someone Who

Thinks That You Are a Good Egg

Even Though He Knows That

You are Slightly Cracked. ~Bernard Meltzer

The Weekend is Here Again – Here’s to Friendships!!!


A Good Bunch of Eggs (Photo by RSheridan)


Good Relations

Better Relationships

I know the hardest part for me in developing relationships is opening myself up to others. Especially when you have experienced bad relationships in the past.

I find that being myself and being true to who I am is important when it comes to developing a relationship with another person. If you respect yourself you are not going to change that in order to develop a relationship with someone. You are not being true to yourself and that is a start to an unhealthy relationship with someone!


Hanging with My Peeps (Photo by RSheridan)

I enjoy being social with others. I love the creative interaction too! Don’t you love those interactions where you pick up right where you left off even if it has been days or weeks since the last time you spoke to that person. I enjoy a relationship where someone just gets you and likes you for who you are.

Those are the relationships that nurture and nourish as well as gives you satisfaction and fulfillment in your life! It is such a loving and caring relationship to have in your life. It takes effort, hard work and understanding to create a relationship like that. So Worth It Though!

Here’s to Being Social, Developing Good Relations & Creating Better Relationships in Your Life!!!


Where Do You Hang Your Heart

Loving Your Greatest Someones

There is Only One Happiness in Life:  To Love and To Be Loved! ~George Sand

Isn’t LOVE Grand! Giving, Receiving & Sharing IT! Especially when it is with your greatest someones. Especially when you enjoy hanging out and spending time with your greatest someones.


Sharing the Love (Photo by RSheridan)

So . . . Where Do You Hang Your Heart? I know a silly question right! Most of us probably hang in where it belongs and carry it with us every day. Some of us hang it on our sleeves at times. Some of us hang it at home at times. Where ever you hang it remember to share it with yourself and others!

The Magic Words for a Great Relationship are,

I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE“. ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie 

Here’s to Living Life & Sharing the LOVE Every Day!!!


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