With Other People
I know for me developing those social relationships started when I was 4 or 5 years old! Then I moved into “clicks” around 5th grade. Talk about life altering moments of embarrassment and rejection amongst your peers! It continued into my high school years with the added twist of “girl drama” and of course starting to like boys in a whole different way.
I learned some valuable lessons about rejection in my 20’s with friendships and relationships! There were times I took rejection like the ultimate sucker punch, especially when a friendship went sour or had a bad breakup. I seriously thought something was wrong with me because I could not handle rejection, confrontation or conflict well at all! It made me physically sick and I really did not like the person that I would become in those situations.
Then I had that “Aha Moment” where it just clicked one day for me! I needed to start loving myself and taking care of my needs. I will either like someone or not as well as someone will like me or not. I cannot please everyone and that goes with trying to be everyone’s friend too!
Finding Buried Treasures
Somewhere in my early 30’s I stopped trying to click with anyone and everyone! I am comfortable with who I am and I am proud to have made it to that stage in my life. You either like me or not and that is okay! I will just continue on to the next interaction to see if there is a click or even a connection.
The one area I still struggle with is letting someone down, especially if I am not aware that I let someone down! I think the part I struggle with is in not talking about it and not dealing with it until months down the road. How can you possibly protect or defend yourself in these situations? I think this is a case of just being the bigger person, apologizing and agreeing to disagree and moving on!
Thinking About the Silly and the Funny
I have had moments where I have become so frustrated that I felt myself withdrawing and my mouth just shutting like a trap! I was afraid to open my mouth and speak. I felt the stupid, the miscommunicated and the misconstrued just ready to leak out! Then to add insult to injury let me throw in some social awkwardness too.
I had to stop beating myself up and worrying about every little thing I did say! I will let people down and disappoint them too. It will either make sense or not. It will be either fair or not. I just have to roll with it for the most part!
I love myself and I am loved! I have my protectors, my supporters and my cheerleaders helping me and guiding me along. I love hanging with the people that just get me and want to be with me! I will continue to keep on keeping on.
Going With The Flow (Photos by RSheridan)